1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
