I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
