so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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