Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
