so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
