Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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