TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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