I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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