Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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