I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he shaved USA in his pubs
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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