hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Pants are for mortals
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