Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
