i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
