He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize