420 ftw
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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