shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I could fuck to npr.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
