we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
