I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
did you just send me my own nude
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
