I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
