watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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