Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
