The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
