So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
