His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's just like the Real World with babies
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
