I'm going to jail i love you
farters have to be the big spoon...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
where are you?
Hypothermia
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize