I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
