If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
