Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize