I don't usually arrange sex via text message
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
