im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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