i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize