Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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