And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
