if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
