My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
