That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm passing your future prison.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
