Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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