Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize