Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
