I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize