so explain again why im purple
no
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize