You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
