you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
