Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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