glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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