I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
