SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
