You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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