what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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