Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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