I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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