I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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