well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize