he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
