im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
