Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize