the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize