i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
