i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
