someone get that fucking seahorse.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize