Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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