I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
