ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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