So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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