addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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