Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
