Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize