am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
accomplished twins. life is a go
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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