Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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