I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
