Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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