don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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