GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
