so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize