My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
