She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
