Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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