hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
