Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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