The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
