Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
