I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
