Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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