We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
